We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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