trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
