they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
