He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
