The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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