i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
