Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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