what day is it and did you see me today?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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