Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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