Barsexuality is the new black.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
