I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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