Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
