only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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