I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
