i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I feel great
I just peed on a car
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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