i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
