who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
