I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it's like iHOP with fire
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
