dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize