i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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