I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
