If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
