I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize