This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Someone shit on the floor
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
