I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
