I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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