and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
