we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
