JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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