Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
