God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
