There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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