I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
