oh god the rape fog is back!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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