I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
