I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
