There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize