Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
