Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
