My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize