You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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