HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
