If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
