So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
