your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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