Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
