I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize