So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
