It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
