You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
