Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
