Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
