i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
