Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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