Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
