Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
