I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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