real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
