My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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