so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
