Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
3pm strippers are depressing
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
