after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
