the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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