That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
